


It's Better To Burn

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, I literally avoided reading this as I fixed the spacing, It's awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-26 16:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13239381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is kind of junque and badly needs to be edited. Go read something, ANYTHING else.After the unimaginable happens, Eliza founds herself loving a woman she thought she hated, finds herself in the front of polictics, finds herself learning things she never knew she never knew.





	1. If You Love Me, Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> TW for suicide, successful suicide via gunshot wound, guns, depression, guilt, mentions of deceased family member who died via gunshot wound, childbirth, domestic violence, rape, self harm via knife wounds, two characters identifying as queer, mentions of funerals, talking to the dead via graveyards, sleeptalking after a panic attack, divorce of abusive partner, slavery, cleaning up the room where the successful suicide took place, rape by abusive partner after divorce. Not all of these apply to each chapter, but they all apply to the work as a whole.

It had been a mere two weeks since the Hamiltons had buried Philip. Alexander slept in his office and Eliza slept in the bedroom, and neither spoke to each other.

  
They had run into one another, and the years they had been married had trained them to read the other's emotions.

  
Eliza was deeply sad, but moving on. Alexander, however, was deeply depressed, tortured by himself, and guilty. Eliza saw it, and waited to talk to him. She was still angry.

  
That was a mistake.

  
One day when passing by his office late in the afternoon, she heard a small whimper. And she finally went in to talk to him.  
It was a mess as usual, the desk covered in paper, but the inkwell was turned over and spilling all over the papers, and the quills were cut in jagged pieces and left drowning in the ink.

  
Alexander was huddled in a corner, the right sleeve of his black waistcoat pushed up, and he was carving long lines in his beautiful skin with a small knife. In his left hand was a gun.

  
Eliza quietly crossed the room, slowly sat down next to him, a hand on her swollen stomach, supporting the baby, and wiped his arm with a handkerchief.

  
Alexander looked at the ground, and every now and then Eliza saw a tear fall onto the floor.

  
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly, gently. Her voice wasn't cold at all, the coldness had been melted with concern.

  
"I... you... y-ou deserve better. I cheated on y-you, I published it, I c-can't support you, so much debt, and Philip... I gave Philip a gun. I helped end his l-life. Y-you... you can remarry. Please, Eliza, let me do this," he said, quietly.

  
"Let you do what?"

  
In response, Alexander lifted the gun and shot himself in the head.

  
Eliza screamed as he collapsed onto what was left of her lap, not hurting her stomach, surprisingly. Had he been eating? He was so light...

  
Alexander Junior rushed in the room after Eliza's screech. Eliza quickly covered Alexander's wound with the hankie and was applying pressure.

  
"Your father has had an accident. Please fetch the doctor, make haste," said Eliza.

  
Alexander Junior nodded and ran out, and Eliza grabbed a spare coat hanging on the office door and replaced the already soaked hankie with it.

  
"I hope you don't mind me ruining a good coat, Alexander," Eliza said quietly.

  
She wasn't expecting a reply, but Alexander whispered, "Not g-gonna... be alive t'wear it."

  
"Oh, Alexander, please hold on. I love you, I need you, the children need you! Please. Stay with me," Eliza whispered back fiercely.

  
Alexander didn't respond, but after a moment shakily handed Eliza a small folded piece of parchment. Eliza set the note next to her and held that hand and with the other hand continued applying pressure to his head.

  
Alexander went limp on her lap just as Alexander Junior and the doctor burst in. Eliza could only watch, helpless as the day he proposed, when they were so young, so innocent. And eventually, she was ushered out.

  
Angelica came to her side an hour later, and as Angelica was about to say something, Eliza scowled at her fiercely and said, "I forgive him, Angelica, no man should have to go through this himself. No matter what he has done, he never deserves having to be depressed and feel useless, unwanted, worthless, and kill themselves. I love him, Angelica."

  
Angelica did not respond, but squeezed Eliza's hand comfortingly as they sat on the sofa for hours, awaiting news.


	2. Oh, Put My Heart At Ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander dies and Eliza pours her heart out to Angelica, who is rude, and then Eliza gets a letter.

After a few hours, the doctor came into the living room. Eliza and Angelica stood.

  
"How is he?" Eliza asked feverishly.

  
"Not good, I'm afraid. I don't quite think he will make it. I am sorry," said the doctor.

  
Eliza was supported by Angelica's fierce and sudden hand squeeze. It was how she'd kept Eliza on earth after Peggy had died. After Philip had died, too.

  
"May we see him?" Asked Eliza.

  
"Yes. He is not awake right now, but hey may awake at any time," said the doctor.

  
Eliza didn't waste a moment more and burst into Alexander's room. Angelica followed close behind.

  
He was unconscious, a great deal of bandages on his head, and wrists. He had been undressed and put into a simple nightshirt. It was short, ending just above his knees, and he had no covers, so Eliza saw a horrifying sight.

  
So, so many scars from cuts, like the ones on his wrist that Eliza had seen him make. They covered his legs, a lot of his arms, and Eliza was sure if she dared look at his chest and belly there would be scars there too.

  
Angelica gave her another hand squeeze.

  
Eliza sat in a chair next to Alexander's bed and held his hand for hours. But he never woke up, and the hand grew cold.

  
She felt his last heartbeat, heard his last breath, like a small sigh, letting go of his worries, of his life. The life he'd made himself, drawing himself up from poverty and tragedy, marrying a rich woman, a woman he loved, having children, so many beautiful children he loved equally, but cheating with another woman, an abused, sad woman, paying the woman's husband, publishing it all rather than be accused of something else.

  
And, he gave his eldest son a gun.

  
The gun that allowed him to be killed, even if it wasn't the one that killed him.

  
These things ran across Eliza's train of thought, accompanied by one other thing. ' _He's dead, my beautiful Alexander is dead, how could I let such a thing happen?_!' screeched in her mind.

  
Eliza screamed out loud, the same way she had when Philip had done this. She flung herself over Alexander and sobbed into his nightshirt, one hand on his head, stroking his beautiful graying hair, the other still holding his cold hand. Angelica and the doctor left Eliza alone for a moment.

  
Eliza drew her face up from Alexander's chest and looked at his face.

  
"Alexander, wherever you are, please, please listen. I love you. I love you so much. I forgive you for all you did, and I wish we could have walked through whatever you were going through together. I love you, I love you, and I will keep your memory alive, my dearest. I will not let anyone harm your legacy."

  
Angelica and the doctor came back in and Angelica gently helped Eliza to her feet and escorted her out.

  
"Angelica, oh, how will I go on? The only man I have ever truly loved is gone. How could I let this happen? It's my fault, I should've talked to him sooner, I saw what was going on in his head, I let him be until it was too late!"

  
"Eliza, dear, it is not your fault. He should have not had an affair, or published the Reynolds Pamphlet, in the first place! If he was tortured by his own mind, it is his own fault," she answered.

  
"No, Angelica, you don't understand! I was angry, and yes I had every right to be, but nobody deserves this!" Eliza said, her voice growing shrill. "Nobody deserves to be tortured by the mind, nobody deserves to have as many scars as he, nobody, nobody deserves any of this, no matter how they have sinned. Get out of my house, Angelica, and do not return, I am quite repulsed with your behaviour."

  
Angelica got up and hurried out of the house, leaving the surviving Hamiltons in their sad, grief-stricken house, alone, to wallow in their grief.

  
But a small black girl ran into the house from the door that Angelica had left ajar, and gave the widowed Mrs. Hamilton a letter, addressed to Alexander, and then ran out, closing the door behind her.

  
Eliza opened the letter since Mr. Hamilton was no longer alive to receive it, a thought that tortured her to no end, and read it.  
'Dear Mr. Hamilton' it read.

  
'I hate to bother you again, after what I have put you through, after how your career is ruined, your marriage destroyed, and your son killed recently, but I fear for my daughter's life and my own. James swears he will kill me and my little daughter today if you have not come to the house, through the front door, with three hundred dollars. I do not deserve to live, but my little daughter should not have her life cut short by him, please mister, do hurry.

  
Maria Reynolds.'

  
Eliza wasted no time grabbing her gloves and hat and rushing out the door to the address on the back of the envelope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two guests have left kudos on this, whomever you are, THANK YOU.  
> If you are considering suicide, PLEASE don't. There are a million things you probably haven't done. Rather than self-harm, draw on yourself, blast yourself with music, draw, go stomp on the sidewalk, try the butterfly project. Don't cut. Stay aliiiiive.  
> This story will probably have 10-15 chapters, and will be updated at least once a week, but probably more.  
> I'm pretty sure that James was in jail at this time, but did Alexander Hamilton commit suicide? No. My head is still screaming that I shouldn't be writing fanfiction about my founding fathers, that the historical inaccuracies are torturous. I will keep writing, with many other historical inaccuracies to come.  
> Lastly, please note that Eliza is bisexual, but I don't think there was really a term for that back then, so she does not use that word. This doesn't really matter in this chapter, but this is a Marliza story as well as a Hamliza story, so it will matter soon.  
> Also, fun fact, during the time that Alexander was paying James Reynolds so the affair could continue, he was very perturbed that Alexander refused to come in through the front door and always went in the back or side doors.


	3. It Hurts Until It Stops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza saves Maria and despite her husband dying less than an hour ago, might've fallen headfirst into another love.

The address on the envelope took Eliza to a small house near the river. It looked nice, from the outside.

  
Eliza, driven slightly mad from grief and determination to save this woman and her child, barged in the house, and immediately saw broken glass scattered everywhere, little droplets of blood among them. Heard screams.

  
She ran to the source of the scream and accidentally shielded a bruised woman in a brown dress, who was holding a small child, from a beer bottle thrown by a tall man.

  
Eliza didn't even register it for a few seconds, but when she did, she launched into a lengthy speech at the man. Alexander had rubbed off on her when he was alive.

  
A middle-aged neighbour heard the screams and came in the house, and took Mr. Reynolds off Eliza's hands, to the local jail.  
The neighbour's wife bustled in afterwards to help the two women out. Eliza had a cut under her eye, but it wasn't too deep and it clotted quickly. The small child was mostly okay, just shaken, and the woman in the brown dress had some bruises and a few more cuts here and there.

  
It was at that moment that Eliza got a good look at the woman.

  
Such beautiful skin, despite the bruises and cuts, dark brown hair, tousled, fluffy and curly, reminding Eliza of Peggy, and such deep, velvety brown eyes.

  
She felt a gut feeling that she hadn't felt in many, many years.

  
When she was eleven, she had been allowed to start attending balls with Angelica, who was twelve. The daughter of some

important man, whom Eliza had forgotten a long time ago, was eleven too, her name was Isabella, and she was blonde, with sparkling green eyes. They had great fun talking, and then.

  
Eliza had kissed her.

  
She'd been taught how the French greeted people, with a kiss on both cheeks. But, this was different, this was the lips.  
As she did, she had an odd gut feeling.

  
And Isabella had kissed back.

  
"Tu es si belle." Isabella had said when they pulled away.

  
"Tu es beaucoup plus belle que moi, ma chérie." Eliza had whispered back.

  
Angelica, who had opted to learn Italian rather than French, didn't understand what Eliza and Isabella were talking about when she came up to them, and she was so young that she didn't understand the flirty gestures, the way they spoke to each other in French, though they were being made by girls younger than she.

  
Angelica had told Eliza that Mother wanted her in bed, it was nine o clock. And Eliza had given Isabella two kisses, one on each cheek as they parted. And Isabella had done the same, which was slightly odd. But Angelica didn't give it a second thought.

  
Eliza never knew why, but she and Isabella never met again.

  
That gut feeling hadn't been there when she met Alexander, no, it was a different gut feeling, and Eliza had long forgotten the difference between the gut feelings.

  
But she remembered now.

  
She shook herself free of the fantasies that zoomed across her mind with the simple thought of Alexander, my beautiful, perfect Alexander is dead.

  
"Pardon me, miss, but could you introduce yourself?" Asked the woman in the brown dress. God, her voice was beautiful.  
"Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton, wif-widow of Alexander Hamilton," Eliza answered.

  
The woman's eyes widened. "I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am, and I am so sorry you had to rescue me, I'm the woman who took your husband... I-I should go..."

  
"Nonsense, it is your house, and I hold no grudge against you. You're awfully beautiful, I can see why Mr. Hamilton was so smitten with you." Eliza immediately regretted that statement and was afraid of what the woman could answer.

  
"Why thank you, Miss Hamilton, but you're prettier than I." The woman answered smoothly, making Eliza's heart race. "Oh, where are my manners? I am Maria Reynolds. It is a pleasure to meet you, but under such circumstances-"

  
"The pleasure is all mine, Miss Reynolds."

  
"Please call me Maria, I do not wish to associate myself with Mr. Reynolds any longer."

  
"That is perfectly understandable, Maria. And, in that case, you may call me Eliza."

  
"That will be fine, Eliza."

  
Eliza was mentally panicking. 'Does Maria like me like I like her?? Why should I like her anyway, this is the woman Alexander cheated with, but oh, she is beautiful, wait. Why do I like girls?? Girls are supposed to be liked by boys, and boys be liked by girls, not the other way around. Why am I even still here, even if I do like her my husband needs a coffin and funeral, and the children- oh my, did I leave the children in the charge of Angelica? That will never do.'

  
"I must return to my house, for I have left my children in the charge of my daughter Angelica, who is unfit to take care of so many. Please, you and your child, you must stay at my house, we have plenty of room," Eliza said.

  
"I wouldn't want to intrude..." said Maria.

  
"Nonsense, a friend of Mr. Hamilton's is a friend of mine. Please, come."

  
"Fine, I shall stay at your house until I can get back on my feet, might I bring my clothes?"

  
"Absolutely, take all the time you need."

  
Eliza waited in the entrance hall for only five minutes, and Maria came out from her bedroom with a small carpetbag stuffed with clothes. She took her daughter's hand, and Eliza took Maria's other hand, which Maria squeezed, and they walked uptown to the Grange hand in hand.

  
When they got there, Eliza showed Maria and her daughter to a large, unused room with two beds on the second floor. "You may freshen up in here," Eliza said, then hurried off to find Angelica.

  
Angelica was sitting in the garden, staring at the sunflowers she'd planted herself. "My, isn't this beautiful, mother? Philip will love it so when he gets home."

  
"Angelica, dear, Philip is dead, now let's get you inside, you'll catch cold." Eliza said, helping her eldest daughter up from the bench and into the house. Once inside, Alexander Junior found them.

  
"The children are all accounted for, mother, and Father was... taken care of. But, what are you doing, up and about? The baby!"

  
It was at that moment that Eliza remembered that she was pregnant. "Oh, yes. But I will take Angelica to her room."  
"No, her room is on the third floor, you need to rest, mother."

  
"There are many things to take care of."

  
"Yes, but James and I can take care of it, mother."

  
After more argument, Eliza finally surrendered and chose a guest room near Maria's, not wanting to rest in the bed that her husband had just died in, and succumbed to exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, before this chapter I didn't exactly quite know when this was all taking place. After some Wikipedia-ing, I decided that it's currently late May, 1802, just before Eliza's last child, Philip, was born. The child that Eliza was pregnant with when she heard about the affair was William Steven, but I've bent it to be Little Philip. Now, according to Wikipedia, Little Philip was born a year after Philip the First died, however I am deviating from history and saying it was two and a half weeks after his death that he was born.  
> Also note, in this story Alexander's depression had begun soon after the Reynolds Pamphlet was published. In real life, I do not know if he actually had depression, and I'm pretty sure he didn't. Philip's death only worsened his depression. So committing suicide so soon after Philip's death is understandable. So, in case you had any doubts, there you go.  
> Also, the French is google translate French, but I studied it for a couple of months so I know it's mostly right. Translations:  
> Tu es si belle- You are so beautiful  
> Tu es beaucoup plus belle que moi, ma chérie- You're much more beautiful than me, darling.


	4. Smile Even Though You're Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza has a panic attack and Maria comforts her, the two get closer, and Philip the Second is born.

Eliza woke just a couple hours later. Why was she in the guest bed? Why was she wearing her coat?

 

Then the memories came crushing back and Eliza let out a small scream and clung to the bedpost, sobbing, was she dead? No, her breathing was so fast, maybe she was dying, though-

  
Then she saw something red, felt something soft and warm embracing her. Something rubbing her back.

  
"Alexander? Is that you? Have I died?" She asked softly.

  
Maria stayed calm. "No, it is Maria, you are alive."

  
"I am dead. I am cold... no I am hot. No, hot is against me, I am still cold. What is hot?" Eliza babbled.

  
"You are warm. You are alive. You are in New York," said Maria calmly.

  
"Hot is fire, fire... fire burning letters, I'm sorry, Alexander, I burned those letters, I'm sorry... no, Alexander is not here, it is my... girlfriend. I am courting Miss Maria Reynolds, I am a widow, and have been for five months. Ladies courting ladies is perfectly fine, non?"

  
Maria's cheeks turned the colour of her dress, but kept rubbing Eliza's back and talking to her. "I would very much like to court you, Miss Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, but it is still the same day you were widowed, wouldn't you like to take a bit of time to mourn?"

  
"No, I mourned for weeks, it's been five-"

  
Eliza was cut off by falling off the bed. Maria caught her because her arms were still wrapped around Eliza's middle, but one arm was now dangerously close to her chest.

  
And Eliza was actually awake now.

  
"Oh dear, I am so sorry, Maria." Eliza said, easing herself onto the floor carefully.

  
Maria slid off the bed and sat next to her, and Eliza stared at Maria with wide eyes.

  
Maria was wearing a red dress, probably her best dress, her eyes we hair had been washed, oh how shiny and perfect it was... before thinking, Eliza took a curl in her hand and smoothed it out affectionately.

  
"Eliza, dear, what are you doing?" Asked Maria.

  
"Your hair is so soft- oh! My, I am so sorry, Maria!" Eliza said, backing away from Maria with her face in her hands.

  
"Eliza, it is alright," Maria said comfortingly, coming over to Eliza and hugging her. Eliza buried her face in Maria's shoulder and cried.

  
"When did we get so intimate?" Asked Eliza after, Maria had spent twenty minutes with her soft arms wrapped around Eliza, rubbing her swollen belly, as Eliza cried unto her.

  
"I don't know, but I like it, don't you?"

  
"Yes, indeed. I have not had a hug from someone my age since... well, I think it was Angelica, my sister, weeks ago." Eliza remembered Alexander's kisses, his warm hugs, and her heart ached for him. Maybe she liked this woman, but Alexander

would always be her best lover. And besides, was marrying someone of your own sex legal? Probably not.

  
Maria continued to hold onto Eliza, until they both fell asleep.  
_____________________

After the funeral, which took place two days after Eliza's panic attack, Eliza pushed herself into scrubbing down her house, but leaving her bedroom and Alexander's office alone.

  
Maria and her daughter Susan stayed in the guest room, but some nights Maria fell asleep holding Eliza where Eliza was sleeping. She and Eliza's beautiful children were the glue that kept Eliza together.

  
Four days after the funeral, Eliza woke to a small pop, and something cold running down her leg. Maria was asleep, her head on Eliza's shoulder.

 

Eliza shook Maria gently.

  
"Maria, my water has broken," Eliza said quietly. Her voice was happier than Maria had ever heard it.

  
"Oh dear, I shall fetch the doctor," Maria said, getting up from the bed.

  
Eliza grabbed Maria's hand and Maria stared at their intertwined fingers and so did Eliza and the world was quiet, for just a moment.

  
"Stay, please, I will have Alexander Junior fetch the doctor. It is raining outside," Eliza said quietly, still staring at their hands.  
"That will be fine with me," Maria said, just as quietly.

  
Alexander Junior was called to the bedroom, fetched Susan and Eliza Holly, so that they could not run off, and went to fetch the doctor. Maria and Eliza watched their two-year-olds play, and though they'd seen them play before, this one seemed truly magical, for reasons that they didn't know.

  
Alexander came back with the doctor, and eighteen hours later, Philip the Second was born to the world. He was so beautiful, and Eliza held him with pride and summoned her eldest daughter. Angelica needed some joy.

  
"Look Angelica, it is Philip," Eliza said happily.

  
Angelica frowned. "That is not Philip, mother, Philip is a grown man! Who's baby is this?"

  
This made Eliza suddenly burst into tears, and Alexander Junior had to take Angelica back upstairs.

  
But Philip stared up at his mother and smiled, and Eliza's tears stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For purposes of this fic, Susan Reynolds was born in 1799, and she was James' kid, which means that she is the same age as Eliza Holly, the second-to-last child of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton and Alexander Hamilton.  
> Y'all leaving kudos and comments makes me so happy!! You make my day a little brighter with every kudos.:)


	5. Welcome To The End of Eras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria decides to divorce James, and Alexander Junior comes out of the closet.

It was the joint decision of both Eliza and Maria that Maria should divorce James at once.

  
"But not because we're homosexual," Eliza said.

  
Maria nodded. "No, not because we're homosexual."

  
"Right."

  
"So, ah, Alexander was a lawyer... did he have any good lawyer friends that we could hire?" Maria asked.

  
"Yes, Aaron Burr, he is a great lawyer, and has a highly intelligent daughter, Theodosia."

  
And that's how the two ended up in Burr's office on a Saturday evening. They had had to leave the children with Alexander Junior, who had grown accustomed to taking care of the children, and admitted he actually quite liked taking care of them.

  
"So, you're Maria Reynolds.... and you're filing for divorce... he abused you... hmm. I can work with this," Burr muttered as he read his notes that he'd taken while Maria spoke.

  
"This isn't because you're homosexual, is it?" Burr said, raising an eyebrow while still not looking at them.

  
He looked curious, not menacing.

  
"Well, I am not homosexual, and neither is Maria, since we married men," Eliza said. "But we like girls too, is there a term for that?"

  
"I believe it is queer, if I remember correctly," Burr replied.

  
"You aren't going to tell anyone about this, Mr. Burr, are you?" Maria asked nervously.

  
"No, it is not my story to tell. I will focus on getting Miss Reynolds divorced from Mr. Reynolds, and we shall say that she wishes to be separated from the man who hit her many a time, which is true."

  
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Burr," said Eliza breathily.

  
"No problem."

  
After the meeting, the women came home. They walked into something... odd.

  
Alexander Junior was wearing one of Angelica's dresses, a fine emerald green number, and his wavy hair that he kept long, and in a ponytail, was loose and curled. His back was to Eliza and Maria.

  
"Alexander," Eliza said.

  
Alexander whipped his head around, stared at Eliza as tears filled his eyes, and ran from the room.

  
Eliza did not want to loose another Alexander, so she ran after him, and knocked gently on his bedroom door. When Alexander did not answer, Eliza started crying.

  
"Please, Alexander, I... I _can't_  loose another Alexander," Eliza said quietly, her head against the door.

  
Alexander slowly opened the door, now clothed in a shirt and breeches, no shoes or socks or jacket. His long auburn hair was still down, and he was crying. 'He reminds me of his father so...' Eliza thought sadly.

  
"Alexander, it's alright, please, tell me what is on your mind," Eliza said gently, leading Alexander to his bed and sitting next to him.

  
"M-mother... I-I am a girl. I was born with b-boy parts, but... but I want to be a g-girl. Angelica let me borrow one of her dresses. It felt so... so... so _right_ ," he said quietly.

  
"Oh, Alexander, it's all right. I do not mind if you want to be a girl, that is absolutely fine with me, and we can go dress shopping if you want. You don't have to dress like a boy, you can be the girl you were meant to be," Eliza said, her voice full of both determination and comfort. "For now, we'll alter a few of Angelica's dresses, and perhaps we could get you a wig?"

  
Alexander sighed heavily in relief and leaned on his mother. "Oh, thank you mother, thank you so much," she said.

  
"It is no problem, Alexander. Oh, what would you like to be called, dear?" Eliza asked. "I imagine you don't want to be called Alexander any longer, and we will talk about you using the words she and her."

  
Alexander thought for a moment, then said, "Alexandra would be nice. I want to keep Father's memory alive."

  
Eliza's heart melted and she stroked Alexandra's hair lovingly. "Of course, sweetheart."

  
And from that moment on, Alexander had become Alexandra. Angelica gave Alexandra the emerald green dress, a blue dress, and a pink dress, and they were altered for Alexandra, which included sewing in padding for a false bosom. And then, they bought Alexandra a whole new wardrobe, but Alexandra kept the original dresses. She especially loved the emerald green one.

  
And from that moment on, Eliza had lost another Alexander, but this time, Alexander was still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, another historical inaccuracy. In real life, Alexander Junior was NOT transgender, but y'know, this is so inaccurate anyway that y'all probably don't care anymore.  
> Also I needed a term so Eliza and Maria didn't have to keep saying homosexual since that was the only available word at the time.  
> And if you're worried about Angelica Schuyler, your worries will be resolved next chapter.


	6. Please Forget To Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Political stuff happens.

It was official, Maria was divorced. _Finally_ , she was free of the abusive James Reynolds.

  
The two women made a couple decisions.

  
One, that Eliza would attempt to make amends with her sister Angelica.

  
Two, that they would try and get Burr to run for senate again, they needed a political ally.

  
Three, the root of the first two decisions, was that they, two women, were going to change America. They wanted women's rights, legalising same-sex marriage (not for themselves, they agreed), all slaves freed. For Alexander.

  
The first task was put into action one nice fall day, when Eliza walked to Angelica's house. Explained everything.  
And Angelica hugged her.

  
"This is what Alexander would've wanted, Betsey," Angelica breathed. You are a great woman, especially for apologising to me, when really I should've been apologising. I am so, so sorry, sister. Might you forgive me?"

  
Eliza smiled. "Yes, of course, sister."

  
The second task was quite easy to do, as Burr was a great feminist. He signed up for the upcoming election immediately. And he won the seat.

  
But he didn't go in alone.

 

A young senator from Massachusetts proposed a constitutional amendment to let senators have up to two equal partners, that stood by the senator's side, had an equal voice in every matter and a vote in each bill, and could run for a seat of their own after serving a term with their partner who actually had the seat.

  
The amendment passed, and Burr chose his partners to be Eliza and Maria, much to the chagrin of the other senators, who had all chosen men for their partners.

  
Thomas Jefferson cornered Burr in Manhattan at noon one day. He was absolutely furious.

  
"Burr, what is this? Women for partners, how is this?" Thomas hissed.

  
"The amendment does not state what sex people must be to be the partners," Burr spat. "I chose them specifically to help bring about a better America. Good day, Mr. President," and with that, he walked off, leaving Thomas sputtering.

  
His sharp eyes spotted a black woman between buildings five blocks up. She was a mess, crying, her dress was ripped.  
Burr approached the girl slowly, and gently cupped her chin. "Ma'am, are you alright?" He asked gently.

  
"No, no I am not alright, for I have been impregnated again!" The girl screeched.

  
"Who is impregnating you, dear?" Asked Burr.

  
"Oh, I couldn't tell you, I cannot, sir."

  
"Are you quite sure? It doesn't matter if you are not free, if you have been impregnated against your will, I can fight for you."  
The girl condsidered this for a minute, then looked up at Burr, her eyes brave and determined.

  
"My name is Sally Hemmings. I am the slave of Thomas Jefferson, and he has impregnated me against my will five times, starting when I was thirteen. He brought me from Monticello especially for this term, he says he needs a distraction whenever he is stressed."

  
Burr nodded. "I will fight for you, Sally. I am Senator Burr, and you may stay at my house for the time being, I have a daughter, Theodosia, she can loan some clothes to you, and you may stay in the guest bedroom.

  
Sally nodded, and Burr helped her up and led her to his house. Once Theodsia knew the situation, she nodded fiercely and helped Sally get settled. Burr went back to his office.

  
Maria and Eliza were writing something, and did not look up at Burr when he came in, so he said,

  
"Thomas Jefferson will soon be destroyed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am a chapter machine today, aren't I?  
> This chapter's historical inaccuracy: Theodosia was married at this point, to Joseph Alston, who would later become governor of South Carolina during the War of 1812, but for purposes of this fic she is currently still courting Alston.  
> Next chapter, we get some serious Marliza before things get bad. No smut, that's not really my cup of tea.


	7. If Crazy Equals Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of actual Marliza!!!!! More political stuff, Thomas is an odd character to write, and then things go FWOOM.

Though Eliza and Maria spent hours and hours in the office, they set aside time for the family, and time alone, as well.  
They mostly talked, and flirted, often in French.

  
"Are we truly... er, queer, as Mr. Burr says?" Maria asked one night.

  
"I don't quite know, Maria dear. Nothing has quite convinced me that I am," Eliza responded.

  
"Perhaps this shall convince you," Maria said, and kissed Eliza on the cheek.

  
"That still has not convinced me, Maria." Eliza teased. "But this might," and she kissed Maria on the lips. Maria sink into the kiss, and they bloomed in each other's lips.

  
When they pulled away, they smiled at each other. "Now, I do believe I am queer as he says," Maria laughed.

  
Eliza responded by kissing Maria again, and they spent the rest of the night trading kisses in Eliza's bed.

  
The next day, Maria had to interview Sally for the Hemmings Pamphlet, as they had decided to call it, since Sally was illiterate. Eliza was writing an essay to promote feminism.

  
Thomas burst into the office at noon, but he wasn't angry, like he had been two days ago when he cornered Burr.  
"Aaron Burr, sir. I'd like to talk to you," he drawled.

  
Eliza and Maria and Sally were in the back room, and when they heard Thomas' southern accent, they looked at each other with wide eyes.

  
"Sally, come, we shall go into the closet behind the filing cabinet," Maria whispered. "The President is here, he may accuse us of stealing you if we do not hide you." Eliza stayed back, because she worked for Burr and if Thomas came in, better to see at least one of Burr's partners than neither.

  
"Mister President, I will gladly oblige," Burr said, his voice cold. "Sit down, would you like a refreshment?"

  
Thomas made himself comfortable in Maria's armchair, and put his feet up on the coffee table, imported from France.

  
"Perhaps you should put your feet down, sir, you do love French goods, I'm sure you'd hate to see the French coffee table ruined," Burr said.

  
Thomas scowled at him, but put his feet down. "So, Burr. Have you see a pregnant slave woman around here lately?"

  
"I've seen plenty. Why do you ask?"

  
Maria and Sally slipped into the back room, and Maria seemingly immediately knocked down a broom. She and Sally squeezed their eyes shut as it clattered on the floor.

  
"I have lost one, a very pretty housemaid, pregnant from her partner slave who is in Virginia, working the fields," said Thomas, either not noticing the noise or choosing to ignore it. "She has cut her hair like a boy's and was last seen wearing a beige dress."

  
Sighing quietly in relief, Sally lodged herself into the tiny space between a spare floorboard and the wall.

  
"Well, I shall keep on the lookout, Mr. President."

  
"You would do well to do so. If you return her to me, you will get five hundred dollars. That could keep your daughter fed for a great while, it is no secret that you are not quite rich."

  
"We get by, I need no reward. But I shall keep my eyes open, sir."

  
Thomas stood and so did Burr, they shook hands over the coffee table, and Thomas left.

  
Eliza waited five minutes, then peeked into the closet and nodded to Maria, who was posed to look like she was looking through a set of drawers for something, and Maria helped get Sally out without upsetting the floorboard, and they all creeped out of the closet carefully. Burr watched this, amused. The girls ignored him and went back to what they'd been doing before, and so did he.

  
Two weeks after Burr had found Sally, the Hemmings Pamphlet was finished. Burr may have started a rumour about Thomas getting busy with a slave, and he and the girls let that circulate quietly, waiting for the perfect time to publish the Hemmings Pamphlet.

  
Thomas _definitely_  heard about the rumour, but chose to ignore it. When this news reached Eliza, they all agreed it was time, and the Hemmings Pamphlet came out the next day.

  
Overnight, Thomas was absolutely ruined. The whispers of "Never gonna be president now!" that Angelica had heard when the Reynolds Pamphlet came out were turned into "Never gonna be president again now!" as she walked to the office to visit Eliza at work.

  
Burr hired her Angelica that day, as a part-time assistant. When she wasn't working (which was mostly writing essays for the Feminist Papers as they'd been named, god, everything's name was inspired by Alexander these days) she often was walking around Manhattan, listening to rumours, starting some to gear up for the Feminist Papers. Maria nicknamed her the Rumor Weaver, and soon, much of the common people New York condsidered Angelica as such. And they loved her.

  
They spent a lovely Christmas in the Grange, inviting Burr, Theodosia, Sally, and the man that Theodosia was courting, Joseph Alston. He was a nice man, and Eliza told Burr that if he proposed to Theodosia, to give his blessing, since he was such a fine man. And that evening, after the meal that Maria, Eliza, Angelica (Schuyler) and Alexandra had prepared, Jospeh took Theodosia outside into the snow and proposed. Sally joked that Theodosia had said yes to get out of the cold.

  
And it seemed like maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.

  
But on the 27th, Eliza had had to run an errand after work, and she had convinced Maria to go ahead and go home, and Maria was only a couple blocks from the warm shelter of the Grange when she felt something strike her on the head.

  
She felt herself falling, she felt like the world was spinning so quickly around her, oh, it was getting darker outside.

  
Maria's last thought before loosing consciousness was why it was getting so dark so quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dunnnn


	8. Loosing the Feeling of Feeling Unique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tackle the physical and emotional mess that is Alexander's office.

Eliza searched all night for Maria when she didn't come home. She wondered if Maria was killed. And she couldn't bear the thought. If she found Maria, she'd... she... would tell Maria how much she loved her, kiss her, hug her.

  
Maria woke up in a dank alley, her dress torn to shreds from the hem to the knees, dried blood crusting on her legs, a small gash on her wrist. And she knew, she knew, and she worried that if James could get to her he could get to Eliza. Eliza was hers. As she knotted the shreds of her dress together so that nobody could see her legs, she thought that when she found Eliza, she'd kiss her, tell her she loved her, make sure no evil befell her.

  
Then Maria stood up, let her head clear, and started searching for Eliza.

  
Eliza saw Maria first and ran to her, and held Maria in her arms as the two women began to sob. Eliza kissed Maria's cheek hastily, and Maria pushed her lips onto Eliza's, and the two women explored one another's mouths until they ran out of breath.

  
They stared at each other for awhile, breathing heavily, until finally Eliza helped Maria up and hurried her to a cab. They didn't usually take cabs for lack of money (they'd had to sell most of their furniture the other day to pay off the debts) but Maria could not walk so far.

  
The cab driver was very nice and understanding, and he insisted that the ride was free.

  
Inside the Grange, Maria got a bath, Eliza's first aid expertise, and breakfast. She then absolutely insisted that she go to work, but eventually Eliza suggested cleaning out Alexander's office instead.

  
"That I will agree to, but only if you are ready, Eliza dear."

  
"I'm ready," Eliza said bravely.

  
They walked upstairs, and pushed the door open slowly.

  
The room was exactly how it was when Alexander died, only the ink had dried.

  
Eliza squeaked, but then slowly walked towards a filing cabinet and started organising.  
Organising the room was no easy task. There were so many papers, on so many subjects, all mixed up, that she and Maria spent the entire day attempting to organise it and ended up with some stacks of things to file together in the middle of the room. Not one drawer was emptied.

  
Angelica came over in the afternoon, to make sure that they were alive, and she helped try and organise.

  
After hours and hours, everything had been organised, and the three girls realised that they had all fucked Alexander Hamilton, leading to an _interesting_  conversation on that.

  
And, they'd found all of Alexander's journals, and Eliza decided she'd read them all, to better understand her late husband. Maria would read the journals as Eliza finished them.

  
Burr, Theodosia, and Joseph came over for dinner, and Burr said that they were going to vote on a bill that would free all slaves next week, much to everyone's joy. Joseph said that he'd keep an eye out for James, and inform the police of him.

  
And after dinner, Eliza and Maria got.... intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is too short. The title is how I feel about this chapter, not a very good chapter title.


	9. Tonight We Are Victorious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

Finally, the bill was voted on and every slave was freed and given citizenship in a Twelfth Amendment. 

Maria hugged Sally tightly and told her she was free to do whatever she wished now. Sally asked if she could be employed like Angelica, and everyone agreed that Sally could be quite helpful to their cause, and was employed officially as Maria's secretary, though she did many other things besides her official duties, and Theodosia was hired by her father to be secretary for him. Angelica was also employed as secretary, for Eliza, when truthfully these three secretaries did many, many things.

And Maria began to teach Sally how to read and write.

  
A few months passed, the Feminist Papers had published its seventy fifth essay (Theodosia was the author of it, it was her first Feminist Paper essay.) and the five month mark of Alexander's death came, and Eliza decided to make it a good day despite wanting to curl up in bed and cry.

  
"Maria, dear, will you court me?" She asked her partner.

  
"I would love that, dear Elizabeth! How I have waited for this moment. When Mr. Hamilton first died, you asked me in a panic of some sort if I might court you, and I told you that Mr. Hamilton had just died, oughtn't you wait? And you said it had been five months."

  
"Perhaps it was an omen."

  
"Perhaps it was indeed."

  
And Maria kissed Eliza deeply.

  
Sally gave birth to her child three weeks later, and it was a girl. She honoured her teacher Maria by naming the child after her, and Maria also became the godmother.

  
A new essay series was launched, this one entitled For Homosexual, Queer, and Genderqueer Rights, and became a sensation quicker than the Feminist Papers had.

  
Congress voted on whether to let women vote, and it passed, it passed, a thirteenth amendment giving them every right men had, and Eliza and Maria marked this not with a party but with going to Alexander's grave and talking to him, telling him all that they had done, and what they were going to accomplish next. Both swore that they saw Alexander's ghost rise from the grave and sit between his two women to listen as they spoke.

  
They began raising funds, for a private orphanage, a mental health institution that would be an example for better mental health care around the world, and for an organisation for women that had been impregnated against their will. The orphanage opened on Maria's birthday, March 30th, and was named the Alexander Hamilton Orphanage.

  
Due to controversy about the Hemmings affair, and a story surfacing about holding a different slave woman against her will after slavery was abolished and using her as a sex toy, and a speech attempting to denounce Aaron Burr and his partners had backfired on him, Thomas Jefferson resigned on June 14th, 1803.

Burr had resigned from the vice presidency soon after Jefferson was sworn in, so there was no Vice President. There was some conflict over what to do, but eventually it was decided that Jefferson would remain president until a special election had taken place. This election was scheduled for October 1803, and Burr encouraged Eliza to run. After awhile she decided to agree to this.

There was stuff floating about Congress attempting to get a Fourteeth amendment passed, that would kill a couple birds with one stone.

Vice Presidents would run separately from the presidents, but their elections were every four years just as the presidents. It would also give Native Americans and a recent wave of East Asian people citizenship, and it would legalise homosexuality and genital surgery, and give citizenship to both. 

  
Somehow, Congress managed to pass this in early July, and Eliza hired a campaign staff, which consisted of Angelica, Maria, Theodosia, Sally, and some other women of all races. No men on her staff!

  
Alexandra volunteered for the first legal genital surgery, and on July 18th she awoke in great pain, but with female parts! Soon her legal gender was changed too.

Sally had a good grip on writing now, and started an organisation called the Women for Mental Health Society, which was devoted to better mental health care and the mental institution that Eliza wanted.

  
Maria, though working still at the Feminist Papers and HQGQ, as it had been nicknamed as well as for Eliza and Burr and still teaching Sally, kept work up for her organisation, which had been named the Women for Women Organisation, or WFW. Its first location, in Brooklyn, opened August 9th, 1803, Eliza's birthday. They went again to Alexander's grave.

  
And.

  
Maria.

  
_Proposed._

  
Eliza said yes, and then they talked to Alexander for hours.

His ghost again rose, and he was very proud of his women.

He told them a term that they'd never heard of, called bisexual, meaning they were attracted to men and women. He told them that he was bisexual too, and that during the war he had dated John Laurens, leading to much teasing, and later that week the last issue of the HQGQ was published, and within it was a list of terms for sexually and gender queer people that Maria and Eliza either already knew of, coined themselves, or found in different cultures.

  
And the elections took place. Eliza was running as a Federalist, and her Republican opponent was Samuel Arlington, a representative from New Jersey, and her Whig opponent was Fredrick Westerbury, a lawyer from North Carolina. The Vice Presidential candidates were Jae Eun Kim, a Korean immigrant, for the Federalists, Aridenne Hugo for the Republicans, and John Newman for Whigs.

  
_Eliza won._

  
Her Vice President was Aridenne Hugo, and Jae Eun had come second by only one vote. Eliza asked Jae Eun to be her Secretary of State, and she agreed. Eliza's secretary of war was Patience Dell, a woman from Virginia who had been half of the first married same sex couple, getting married just two days after the Fourteenth Amendment. She and Eliza got along well.

  
Theodosia was asked to be Secretary of the Treasury, a sacred role in Eliza's mind. She had wanted originally to nominate Maria, but Maria had wanted to continue working for the WFW, which Eliza had no problem with, and since Sally was the head of the Women for Mental Health Society, Theodosia became Secretary of the Treasury.

  
The Attorney General was to be Angelica, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that anyone could be better for this job.  
Eliza moved her family into the newly built White House, and in the grand ballroom, on December 30th, 1803, Eliza and Maria said 'I do' and the bride kissed the bride.

  
They lived a happy life, Eliza was reelected for a second term and after that Jae Eun and later Theodosia were both presidents, Eliza began a yearly LGBTQ parade that went all around Manhattan, wrote a biography of Alexander, and the WFW had over 40 locations when Maria died on August 25th, 1854. Eliza died on November 9th that same year.

The Women for Mental Health Society unveiled the Elizabeth Schuyler Mental Institute on December 9th, one month after Eliza had died. Sally was still head of the organisation, though she was eighty-one years old by then.

  
As for their family? Alexandra married a woman named Safiya Rivere in late 1813, and every child of Eliza and Alexander married, except for Angelica.

Eliza and Maria adopted a child and named her Asuna. Asuna's parents were from Japan, but they died of cholera, leaving Asuna orphaned. She lived at the Alexander Hamilton orphanage until Eliza adopted her at age ten.

  
Frances Antill, whom Alexander and Eliza had taken care of until she was adopted by a married sister married a man and woman, at the same time, and was a Supreme Court Justice from age fifty-three until her death at age eighty-nine.

  
Susan, Maria's daughter from James, never married, and helped coin the terms asexual and aromatic, which is what she was.  
Asuna married a non-binary doctor named Taylor Nolan, and they had three children together.   
When Eliza died, she had thirty-four grandchildren, not counting Frances' eight children.

 

And Eliza saw her sisters, her mother and father, Philip, John Laurens,

  
And Alexander and Maria.

  
And she now shares a bed with Alexander, Maria, and John, and she is always happy.

  
And in 2015, a woman on a stage named Philippa Soo portrayed her in the musical _Eliza_.

  
Eliza came back to New York with all her friends and lovers, sharing seats with a group of kids from the Margarita Schuyler Elementary School (which Peggy bragged about nonstop) and at the end of the last song, My Story/Your Story, she came up onstage, unnoticed by neither the audience nor the performers, she slipped her ghostly form around Mrs. Soo and saw all the people.

  
Both she and Philippa gasped as the chorus melted into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to wrap this up until chapter 11 I swear, but I felt somewhat bored with this story and felt it wasn't very good in the first place, and I couldn't think up any ideas, I just knew that by the end we'd have legalised same sex marriage, ended slavery, gotten better treatment for mentally ill people given everyone citizenship, and let women vote. The gender thing I threw in on the fly, the same thing happened with the Broadway thing.  
> Thanks so much for everyone who has read this! I love y'all soooo much, and from here I'll probably post one-shots until May when I'll be done with Camp Nanowrimo and if my writer isn't too tired I'll do a minific of five to seven chapters hopefully.   
> Now here's some random stuff.  
> The title of Your Story/My Story for the last song in the musical Eliza came from Eliza not beginning to be a political voice until after Alexander's death, trying to preserve his legacy in many things she did, and writing a biography of Alexander. She was so determined to keep Alexander's memory alive that until that song she forgot about her own, and when both Eliza's gasp it is Eliza seeing that both her story and Alexander's were told. Sorry if that made no sense.  
> Maria wrote the majority of the 120 Feminist Papers, writing sixty five. Eliza wrote twenty seven, Theodosia wrote fifteen, Angelica wrote eight, and Sally wrote five.  
> Eliza wrote 30 of the 77 HGQG Papers, Maria wrote 21, Alexandra wrote sixteen, Theodosia wrote eight, and Angelica wrote two.  
> I want to list all of Eliza and Maria's grandchildren but in this fic all of them had 5 kids except for Little Phil who had 8, so that's a kriff ton of names to find and I need to do a book report.  
> -Lisbeth


End file.
